'You’re
not that important'
By this I don’t mean to say that you are not at all important
because of course you are important, I mean the most important person in your
life is you yourself, what I’m implying here is you are not that important in
other peoples life and not everything revolves around you like most of us tend
to believe. To an extent feeling this is very normal and we all succumb to this
but some people tend to take it on extreme heights those people are just a
bunch of kids who have progressed in age but not cognitively. According to
stages of cognitive development given by Jean Piaget there are basically four
stages of cognitive development Sensorimotor, pre-operational,
concrete-operational and formal-operational. Something happens in the second
stage which is the pre-operational which is usually from 2-7 years.
Concepts
called Centration and Egocentrism come into play. Why I am telling about this?
Because I have even observed 35 year olds to behave like a kid who has yet not
successfully crossed the stage.
Now
when I explain what centration and egocentrism is you might find examples in
your day to day observation (of people who behave like this). Centration as
Piaget explains it; is a tendency to focus only on one aspect of situation at a
time now this he said about kids between the age range mentioned above but I
have seen a lot of people who very conveniently focus only on their aspect. And
they give utter disregard for the other person or in general the other aspect.
Egocentrism
is the failing of the kid (in this case the big, very old kid) to understand
the situation with others point of view or their preoccupation with the thought
that everyone has the same point of view as they have. Now does any example come
into your mind? A person for whom anything that happens has only one
interpretation that is theirs.
Anything
you do which comes to their notice is now their agenda and the only right thing
is what they have in mind and if you have a different opinion then you are wrong.
Now is there any need to talk about these people? Yes there is because we
sometimes are surrounded by these kinds of people and when they don’t understand
the other aspect or our point of view, we tend to make a lot of efforts trying
to make them understand. Not knowing the fact that they would never understand
and you’re wasting your time.
Then
what should we do? What we can do is let them believe that everything revolves
around them, let them live in their Personal Fable (concept first given by
David Elkind in his book Egocentrism and Adolescence). And if they do poke
their noses in your business you should still not battle them. What you wanna
do instead is remind yourself this quote,
“I
would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed…”
-William Shakespeare
Too goodπ
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