Hustle or Burnout?

They make you feel bad, and they cash in on your misery by making you more disgusted about yourself even more than you usually are. I would now try to uncover the mask of these pretenders (coz ‘they’ don’t hustle the way they claim). These people with their social media posts try to portray an image of a hard working person which if observed carefully is nowhere close to reality, they want you to believe that they would eat sand if they have to, to keep themselves fit and that they put matchsticks between their eyelids to stay awake at night to study (like Tom in Tom and Jerry). But reality is nowhere close to their  pretense and they know it as well. But they’re not to blame entirely for this; we are a big part of this as well. In my opinion we are the people who continuously beat ourselves and self-diminish our worth and admire people having big collections of shoes, watches, cellphones (stuffed unicorn) or having crazy routines. We see and long for those things and there’s nothing bad in wanting a good thing the main problem is when the same influencer whose collection you were drooling upon with a gentle touch promotes a product which is not that good coz if it would have been they’d have collections of that brand of shoe, watch (which never happens). And why does this work? Because we ourself let that happen. And if they don’t promote a product then they might claim that their success is because of something or some rule like working like a horse and not taking any rest working while others are resting or no days off has led them at the point they are right now. I won’t say anything about it coz if you’re reading this and have read the earlier posts you know by now that some psychological fact is coming. And that is maybe their mantra is real, authentic maybe it works for the short run because for anything there is a sprint phase like when you start a hobby like cooking you go all in for sometime but naturally there comes a cruise phase where you go easy on yourself. But if you go by their mantra of hustle you will definitely face a stage called Burnout. And what happens in this stage is that all your resources are depleted (mental strength, physical health, and emotional stability) and when this happens you’ll start to hate the same activity you once loved and got into. And all this would happen because of some shitty advice coz you can only get so much done in a given period of time you can play with that boundary a little but if you push too hard you’ll lose the whole interest in the activity this is the reason why people quit their passions in between.

So don’t take anyone’s word for anything do what works for you best but this doesn’t mean that there are only bad influencers out there, it just means be a little flexible try things out see what works for you and then go ahead.

Why do we fall into habits?

If I must say then habit is something human evolution has given to us, by definition it means doing something repeatedly (on a daily basis). But why is that we do something’s again and again when most of the times we’re not consciously aware about it? The answer too lies in the evolution of our species, while we were becoming less of monkeys and more of humans something happened; our brains started to develop and hence resulted in a more efficient much smarter cerebral cortex (some got not so smarter or efficient), which in turn would help us do a lot more of the cognitive functions and because of this in my humble opinion came in the cognitive efficiency which is using less of your conscious attention over trivial day to day things and saving up for the things that actually matter. For example if you have to think for every single thing you have to do then you’ll the most tired and frustrated person.

So to save us from this frustration what our brain does is; it tries to from habits of the simpler things we have to do on a daily basis and tries to make itself so efficient that they do require as less conscious attention as possible some of the examples for this would be; How you tie your shoe lace (you’re making the same knot since 10 years or long without giving any thought) Or checking location of your phone in the morning or perfectly hitting the snooze button of your alarm clock, I thought of adding up making your morning coffee as one of things you can do without occupying much of your consciousness but I would not like to offend the people who take it as a spiritual experience.

Now we know why habits are formed but are they good or bad? That my friend is totally dependent on the things around which your habits are formed and I would not dwell on that but what I would stress upon would be are they helpful (the good ones) in tackling your daily life hassels? I would say indeed they are helpful; imagine yourself getting up in the morning making your cup of coffee and then trying to think that what clothes you’re going to wear at the office today then you’d find the clothes if possible iron them and then rush towards your office knowing that your vehicle is short on fuel because of which you find yourself at the gas station and at last you reach your office just before half time (now a lot of people do manage to be in time, I admire those savages). This daily activity or rather mess can be sorted if you’d be in the habit of deciding the clothes the night before or developing a simple rule of not letting your bike run on reserve fuel for more than an hour.

But if habits are just mind making us fool and doing cognitive efficiency then why are they so hard to get rid off ?

It is so because in the process of making a habit something else is also developed and that is muscle memory and muscle memory does not fade very easy you’d feel certain level of uneasiness the moment you try to something which is contradicting to your muscle memory you don’t believe me try tying your shoelaces differently; you’ll find that whenever in hurry you’d go back to that method only (that which you have a habit of).

This being said that our mind does play tricks on us but still habits and simple rules do make our life a little easier.

The Myth

Today I wanna talk about a mythical state of mind that is being ‘Motivated’; I say that this term is a myth because it’s a made up word, a word that encourages the lazy and the weak minded people to be lazy and have an excuse for that (I’m not motivated enough today). What these people try to claim and want you to believe is that there occurs a state of mind or being in which all the things you want to get done become easy but I hate to break this crappy concept to you that there is none. What the term actually does is; it mellows the hard work done by people, the same people whom we see and say that “he’s always motivated”. No genius that person is not motivated that person is a hard working person with a tough mentality and a high degree of self-control.

Nobody can be so called ‘Motivated’ all the time and when you aren’t in that fantasy state it gives you an excuse to just play possum and not to do the thing you once were so bloody motivated to do.

A person can be motivated to get in shape while sitting on his couch stuffing his face with     Junk food. Now is the person motivated; actually he is but will he do anything about it that is in doubt so you see being motivated is not enough it’s what you do after it that counts.

Do you keep stuffing you face with that apple pie or emarti or do you actually want to start on the journey of getting fit?

If you’ve decided the latter as your option of choice then I would like to tell you or rather warn you to stay away from the mythical word of motivation coz then it would make your progress sluggish and the goal blurry be it any goal either to get fit or to start a new hobby or to pursue a different career. What I want you to do instead is try to dedicate some of your time to that particular activity everyday no cheat days no rest days no nothing just dedicate some part of your 24 hours to that activity and all you have to do is show up. There are going to be days when you don’t feel like doing it there will be days when you’ll be very busy or very tired but those are the days you don’t wanna skip coz that days are most important of them all they make up your habit and like any bad habit a good habit too is a pain to drop.

By this now you’ve made it sure that you progress in a forward direction and neither you are stagnant nor you are regressing towards the earlier pathetic you. And once you’ve actually developed a habit of not just doing that thing (that is obvious) but also the habit of not giving in to the silly excuses you feed yourself in the name of motivation.

Outside the comfort zone

The comfort zone; a very beautiful word used for being too ignorant and coward, It’s the living style of the pathetic (in my humble opinion of course).But if one wants anything good to happen in his life he must do something about it (and I stated just the obvious).But what is that something and how do we do it, (what we do is take a small step into the discomfort or just take a jump into, whichever suits your fancy) the best example which I can think as of now is taking a cold shower because its damn cold here and I hate cold showers. I wanna ask this to you have you ever tried to take a cold shower in a cold morning? Even the thought itself is terrifying but let’s just break the activity: you are just thinking that today you might take a cold shower and you’re scared already then suppose you actually have decided and you go to the bathroom shivering with cold thinking that this might not be the best decision or you might catch cold or the shower might exaggerate your sinus issues, and you feed yourself every possible bullshit reason to bail out from the situation and then if you can fight those reasons you might step into the shower. What do feel then? For that the answer is you feel nothing it’s just cold water that’s it and it can’t harm you and all that fear and discomfort was just loads of crap you kept on feeding yourself.

Life too is very similar to the experience of taking a cold shower, any opportunity it provides you with is preceded by a series of feelings like excitement, fear, shame, disgust and lack of confidence but when you do overcome these you understand that all they were doing was to stop you from doing something good or great. Since I have taken the example of a cold shower let’s see  what its benefits are; It improves your immune system, promotes fat loss, enhances circulation bla bla bla these are not the benefits I’m concerned about because I would run a 5k if I have to reduce fact. The listed so called benefits can be obtained from various things but what’s special about cold showers is not the physical health results but the psychological outcomes it yields. Think of a person who has taken a cold shower in the month of December before 6:00 am, now do you think person would be even least concerned that’s its cold out there and he should apply for a leave from work. Or will that person get pissed off when the water in the public restroom isn’t warm or any other daily hassle for that matter. What I want to say by this is; the person by doing just a simple task daily (it’s a task for some) one might develop ‘Emotional Resilience’. By continuously forcing yourself to do something which scares you the most you are now training your brain to do something you’re not comfortable with because our neurons works and fire on the associations the more you do something the more you want to do that thing which in this case would be leaving your comfort zone and stepping into growth and actualization.

So, I would like you to take a 30 day cold shower challenge with me coz as much as I hate to admit this but it’s true that the only thing that wakes me up better than a cup of coffee is a cold shower,

And once you’re into the challenge then observe what kind of a person are you, do you succumb to your bullshit lies and excuses or do you overcome them and do something.

PSYCHOPATHS: The devils in disguise.

Anti social personality disorder(ASPD) is also known by the name of Psychopathy by the normal population.The word 'Psychopath' sounds like a dread in itself and forms an image of a lunatic from the most exaggerated psychological thriller movies.

But in reality this is not the case, Psychopathy like any other mental disorder has a spectrum or a range. there is no black and white demarcation in it there may be different shades of grey in a psychopath.Another harsh reality is that we encounter them on a daily basis being completely ignorant to the fact.

The whole reason why I thought of writing this blog in the first place is a quote by Friedrich Nietzsche and that is "Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you."

Since we do face them on a daily basis and we may be sometimes surrounded by them completely unarmed that is the time we should fear the most. Fear of not being unarmed fear of being ignorant because this is one of those times when ignorance is not a bliss.

So, how are we surrounded with psychopaths yet we don't know it? The answer is we don't pay attentions to the signs and they(The psychopath) won't leave much clue behind.

Yet they have some traits which when you observe carefully tend to reveal their true self, Like a psychopath lacks empathy they in their deeper self have no regard for how the other person feels but they do understand how to camouflage their emotions and trick people to their advantage,this is the reason that you'll have to observe them and not just see.

But by just this you'll not start to unmask all the psychopaths you encounter because they plot their ideas very carefully and simulate the act in their minds again and again, Some of the traits are more interesting than the others like, They possess something called 'Resilience to chaos' viz they'd not lose their cool even in the most stressful situations making them look and feel more grandiose.

They might have very charming appearance but the thing they lack is conscience(which is the inner voice which tells you that whether the act you're doing is right or wrong) and because of which they don't regret any bit of their doing, which makes things even worse for the sufferer.  

It would not be wrong of me to say this:they are everywhere some of them might have very successful careers like an entrepreneur or a manager or any other profession, they also tend to maintain relationships(fake and shallow) as they can mask their emotions and intentions very well but they'll only indulge in those relations where they know they have full control over the people and the situation.

And because they are everywhere they can be a threat to your mental peace.(that is if you're not one yourself because in that case you don't have to worry) One needs to be very careful when dealing with such abysses because if not done with proper care you might lose your "self".

The other side of addiction...

This is very obvious and would be very lame of me to say that there are some substances that are more addicting than the others but neither I want to stress upon whether alcohol is more addictive than tea or coffee nor which is a more desirable form of addiction.
But what I do want to stress upon is that there is more to addiction than just biological dependence on the substance, because if this isn't the case than why do people drink a shit ton of coffee on a daily basis and only a scoop or two of their favorite pre-workout.
The reason why I used above example is because the difference in the caffeine content between the two is significant(yes your magic powder, Tarzan making pre-workout contains caffeine),
Average caffeine content in a cup of coffee is around 95 mg(and lets just hope you don't drink your coffee having the same consistency of tar because in that case it would be higher) on the other hand a scoop of pre-workout contains 150-400 mg of caffeine.So if its just substance that causes addiction then all the poems and quotes should have been written for pre-workouts and not for coffee.
That means there is more to it, Lets take a situation a person is sitting on his comfy chair(a bean bag,or a pile of bricks whatever you're into)early in the morning having a nice sunrise view with a steaming cup of _______(tea/coffee/pre-workout).I think that the answer is very simple. Now why that coffee or tea is so necessary nowadays because that is the only time when a modern workhorse is kinda close to meditation(I know it sounds weird).So what do we do in meditation we try to focus all our thoughts at one point, object or a thought,now tell me what the person is doing with a warm cup of coffee by now or a person who has just lighted a cigarette both of the individuals would now be focusing all there thoughts on there choice of addictive substance, and even for only a moment or so  they don't have all the multi-tasking going on their heads, and as awkward as it may sound but that thoughtlessness for sometime is relaxing and addicting in itself and this makes quitting of such substances even more difficult.
As for the alcohol In my humble opinion some people use it for a very purgatory purpose, purgation of emotions to be specific, What they do is they take one or two shots and then before even getting intoxicated they start acting as they want and say what they want to say to their friends or the people surrounding and people chalk that behavior to alcohol(this provides them an easy way out after actually expressing what they felt like without having to face any consequences coz they don't remember and if they do remember they didn't mean "all that").And because we have created so much false hood of expressions around us in order to be polite and non offending that the so called drunk behavior gives them some sense of relief by venting out the real emotions and that feeling itself is addicting too.(if you get the taste of it)
By the above arguments I don't intend to justify their addictions what I intend to do is attempt on explaining that addiction is not merely physiological phenomenon but it's psychological as well.

The "little things"

As we all have heard the lines somewhere that we're all entitled for something very great, and the ever growing social media community by any chance doesn't miss the opportunity in making us realize that if your're not driving a particular car, if you are not having a great Greek God like body or you're not making a certain big figure income then your're not fulfilling your lives purpose which is to be great and extraordinary(according to them).
But do we actually need these big materialistic things to be happy and satisfied or there's some far smaller things when seen with a superficial glance which may provide us with real joy and happiness.
Take appreciation as an example the concept is very general to try to pay attention to something and if it appeals to you, you try to let the other person know as well.
This doesn't take anything much more then a few word or a simple gesture, this reminds me of a morning when was riding my Royal Enfield classic which if you don't know(I hope you do) is a modern classic bike and then I saw a man he was in his mid fifties riding a 1980's model Royal Enfield. As normal as it is to spot a old man driving an old bike but this instance was different the bike was so well maintained that the man would any day win a race with it. Now if I'm to assume that every thing should be great in our then this encounter would end up like this, we looked at each other with gleaming eyes and then stopped without none of us saying a word(because he was eating ghutka)  and exchanged our bikes drove them till the fuel tank was empty.
But it didn't happen like that I just gave him a thumbs up and he did the same in response because he was eating ghutka(truth) and then I drove to school having an image of that bike and how any machine which we hold so close should age like.Now was this incident very great? the ans is NO is you ask me but was it good? Was it worth a laugh?Was it worth to talk upon?
The ans is HELL YEAH.
When you actually learn to appreciate the little things then only you could possibly pave your way to the mirage of that greatness(and why would we care if we don't get to it we'd still be happy).
In my humble opinion our brain functions on the basis of association and their strengths which means that the more you do something the more you're preparing yourself your mind and your body for it that means the more you find happiness in the little things the more observant you'd be the next time. The more you'll appreciate the smallness of events the more you'll find pleasure in those small yet very important things(at least according to us)and who knows maybe someday you'll outgrow the facade of the so called everything should be only great and not anything less.

Does it ever appeal to you? That we're all a bit more busy these days, and when asked about the things we're busy with, we have a lot of things to say but do we actually know what we are busy with, one might observe that those things we are so called busy with are mere reactions to things, and tasks we tackle on a daily basis.
Our lifestyles are more Re-active then they are "active" in the first place, we have dreams and wishes which we proudly call goals and yet we can't give up simple pleasures like sleeping five more minutes or hitting that damn snooze button fifteen times.
We give in to immediate pleasures rather than focusing on the actual satisfaction,
All the statements above may sound rather obvious to all of us but are they because if they are so obvious then the only reason we are not doing things that we should because we feed ourselves shitty lies, about how things are not that bad even though you may have all the possible reasons telling you that things suck.
Now before I start sounding like a motivational speaker or a spiritual guru I want you know that I'm just a Teacher who teaches Psychology and loves to observe things and use more of perception rather than just focusing on mere sensations.
Once you start observing yourself and others you'll find way more insightful lessons than you get from anywhere else much more motivation than any words of a motivational speaker, like take this blog for an example this blog came into existence by the motivation provided by my students.
Students are amazing if you ever get a chance to actually observe them studying and having doubts the older generation could barely comprehend in their time is in itself very rewarding, but I must warn you that this realm is only visible if you observe them in a natural setting and that by default means them being unaware that they are being observed or else they might show you the well practiced act of fooling the older generation.
In this blog which I'll be publishing twice in a week I just intend to show you my observation of the the daily obvious things in a not so obvious manner, and would also try to provide some psychological insight on the topics which would help with the better understanding of ourselves and try to figure out together that what is the truth if there is any to healthy and happy living because as I always say, "Truth is the only absolute concept interpreted most relatively".